If You Believe A Letter To Ran Mouri
by Kaitou-Rika
Summary: Shinichi's thoughts for Ran packed into a letter. Will he ever send it to her!


Hi!  
  
It's a song-fanfic. The song is called 'If You Believe' from the former group called Steps.  
  
It contains Shinichi's thoughts for Ran, packed into a letter. Will he ever send it to her?!  
  
If You Believe ~A letter to Ran~  
  
Dear Ran…  
  
//  
  
There's a bridge  
  
I don't know how to cross yet  
  
//  
  
Beeing a little boy, going to elementary school. Beein Conan Edogawa. What life is it?   
  
My memory about the *first* time has vanished. But now, I'm back. Stuck in this body. A body of a child. Learning again the basics like writing, reading and calculating. Acting like a child, every day, every moment.   
  
Did you know that I'm your little Conan-kun?  
  
I'm a fool… Why did I have to go after those two suspicious men? Tell me, why I was so curious about what they did? And why did they find me out, knocking me down? Why is there such a poison that can shrink people? And where are those bastards? Will I ever meet them again? Will I ever get back my real body?   
  
Why didn't I stay by your side?  
  
//  
  
I need your hand to  
  
Hold along the way  
  
//  
  
You are there. Every day. My sister. My big and true love.   
  
You are holding my hand, leading me to almost every place. I like your warm hand. My heart keeps on beating. Only for you. Without you I wouldn't know how I would bear this. I'm thanking you for this. I always will.   
  
//  
  
In your eyes  
  
I see that you have faith in me  
  
//  
  
A few minutes ago I saw you crying again. The reason was me. I know that you miss me. Your lonely eyes are telling me every feeling. The feelings of loneliness, love, sadness. I'm longing to stop your tears. But please tell me, how? How should I do this? If I tell you everything I will put you in great danger. But I can't! I couldn't forgive myself.   
  
//  
  
I don't wanna disappoint you  
  
By the choices I may make…  
  
//  
  
One day, yes one day for sure. I will tell you. But not today.  
  
I'm hoping that you won't be mad at me. That you will understand my reasons. Beeing Conan Edogawa isn't as easy or as nice someone could think of! Beeing your little brother…not your lover… Really treated like a little brother, not more, not less…  
  
//  
  
If you believe  
  
Believe in me  
  
I'll turn this tide  
  
This stream into the sea  
  
//  
  
Please don't forget me, don't forget my love for you which I'm keeping deep in my heart. My dearest wish is to find my chance to come back to you. But please tell me how should I do?   
  
But, one day. One day, I will be back. We will meet again. Definately.   
  
All I have to do is to find them again…but it's not as easy as I thought. They seem to be far away. They are like the sand, running out of my hands. I'm listening to the waves. They're telling me their stories. I'm just listening and then I'm telling them my story but I don't receive an answer…  
  
//  
  
Cos I believe  
  
Believe in dreams  
  
I know that somwhere there's a key  
  
And time will wait for me  
  
//  
  
The stars are twinkling, the moon is shining. Every night I wish I could be there for you. But it's like the chase of sun and moon. Nothing seems to stay… Every night in my dreams I see you. You and me. We are happy and we are in love. Only the two of us…  
  
A dream, I can catch those guys, getting their devilish poison and someone can create the anti-stuff. Then I see me. Me in my old body again. For month…I'm just dreaming…  
  
They are out of sight for me. Will they ever return? I want to believe that! As long as that I will see you crying. But I know, you will wait for me, won't you?  
  
//  
  
As I grow  
  
I need your thoughts to guide me  
  
//  
  
Just now, I'm Conan Edogawa. Your little brother. Still your are holding my hand. Still you are guiding my way. And how often do you talk to me? Talking about Shinichi Kudo? Telling me your thoughts and hope. But as long as you do, I know. You still like me, you still think about me…  
  
//  
  
I feel your love inside  
  
Like vertigo  
  
//  
  
Every tear can tell me a story. You miss me. I miss you.   
  
You love me. Every tear is telling me. I'm your first love. And I know how tough it is. Sometimes I really think, please find another one, but please, smile again…  
  
I don't know how I could help you. I'm too weak…Sorry...  
  
//  
  
In your arms   
  
You see the child within me  
  
//  
  
Please hold me tight. I don't wanna lose you. I wanna feel your warmth. The warmth of your body and your heart. I still can't believe that you are waiting for me. Only for me.   
  
You are treating me like a child. I *am* a child right now. You are happy about your little brother, aren't you? Will you miss him more than me?  
  
//  
  
Embrace me then release me  
  
When I'm ready to let go  
  
//  
  
Now I'm alone again. You left me a few minutes ago. Doing something in the kitchen, you said. I'm sitting here alone in my room, watching the birds flying. The clouds are moving fast. It should start raining in a few minutes, I guess. Rain is like tears...rain always remains me of crying...Perhaps, anywhere, someone is crying and then it rains...  
  
//  
  
When I'm feeling lost  
  
I Just think of you  
  
I just close my eyes   
  
And dream blue  
  
//  
  
When I close my eyes, all I see is you. Only you. My *little* Ran.   
  
Without you, I would be lonely. I need you!   
  
You are in every dream, every night. I'm holding you in my arms. We are standing on a field with flowers. The wind shows us our dreams...wonderful dreams.. Will they ever become real?  
  
//  
  
Just believe in me  
  
Believe in me  
  
//  
  
One day, I will be back. Please wait for me. Please believe in me. Please!  
  
I know, you will never receive this letter, but...don't you know? Don't you feel this words? Right inside your heart?  
  
Please give me an answer! An answer with your heart!  
  
I will wait for you, always...  
  
With love,  
  
Your Shinichi Kudo 


End file.
